Ups and downs

So, you know how they say you will experience a lot of ups and downs while you're studying abroad... at first you're excited and everything is new, and then you start missing your family and friends and regular way of life, and then you become accustomed to life abroad and get used to the culture and food and way of life, and then once you have to leave to go back home, you don't want to leave at all! Well, I fall under the second category right now.

It's not that I'm pining for home, although I do miss it a lot, it's just that I feel like I won't ever be actually good at Spanish. I do well with the words that I know, but geez, there is so much vocabulary that I can't even begin to memorize it all. Even words for the simplest things, like a coffee pot or a frying pan... why don't they teach those things at school!!! It's really not doing well for my confidence with Spanish. And then I get my essay back today from class and what normally would get me a 98% and an ¡Excelente! at the UW was bleeding red pen all over the place! Again, confidence... just shoot me! I hope it gets easier and I learn the vocab... I do have until December after all, which gives me about two and a half more months. I really want to meet a Spaniard that's my age that will speak Spanish with me because at least we'll have things in common. Talking to my señora gets a little boring sometimes because we either talk about the same subjects over and over again or I ask her a question and she kind of just answers it briskly and that's the end of that conversation. She has a life, too, I guess. But I'm just pretty stressed out today because we have an essay due tomorrow that's graded AND a test on top of that AND an intercambio fiesta tonight that I probably won't go to knowing me because I'd rather get a good grade tomorrow and go out tomorrow night than risk it tonight. I will be going to El Palacio today to print off my essay and that is where we can sign up to have one Spaniard kind of come and talk with you and be your friend or whatever, so I'm going to sign up with one. I hope she's not going to be some drop dead gorgeous girl because that would intimidate me even more. Everyone here is absolutely gorgeous and I definitely don't dress like a Spaniard so it's a little weird. Like, yesterday at school there was a girl walking around in a shirt that showed her belly and low rise pants! Who the heck wears that to school?! I know the guys in our little group love it - and it's not that I mind, it's just that I hate feeling not so pretty.

So, there was me complaining again. I saw the prettiest view this morning when I left my house because I left about a half hour earlier than normal since Lolita and I wanted to go and have some cafe before class. The sun was just rising and the tops of two churches in the distance with the glow from the sunrise was absolutely beautiful and I wanted to take a picture but I was already running late so I made a mental picture and perhaps tomorrow I'll go take a look. I also had cereal for breakfast today, which was comforting :-) But they have no Honey Nut Cheerios here which is unfortunate.

Yesterday I also bought anti-mosquito stuff to put on my body so that they don't eat me during the night and those little suckers did anyway. I hope they died. They even took a stab on my chin, so now it looks like I have a massive, pulsing zit on my face and it itches horribly and I don't want to irritate it but I want to scratch it so bad. I hate the mosquitos, I could really live without them.

So anyway, the plan for today is to finish my essay and go to El Palacio to print it out, hopefully stop by Vodafone so they can fix my phone because it won't turn on, and send out my postcards for all of my lovely family and friends before I start studying and memorizing vocab and definitions and all of that jazz. Ugh. No me gusta. It's hard to get into the groove of school when it seems like you're in a vacation destination, but I'm pushing myself to be good and so far it's been working so let's hope that it continues until December. In other news, I might go to Gibraltar next Saturday which I am very excited about.

Okay, homework time. Cheers,

Olivia